La Paz or La Guerraaaa

SO GIVE ME A DAMM COFFE THEN!!! said I knocking my fist on the bar making a scandal so that all the waiters had to come to me to calm me down..... but let us come back a bit to understand how the situation lead me to lose my temper this way. I left Santa Cruz on friday night and jumped on a bus to La Paz. A really stincky old bus with quite a local atmosphere.... I was the only foreigner in the bus. Next to me sat an old bolivian really nice who explained me all the problems of Bolivia he was really nice and as we stoped for dinner to one of the dirtiest place I have ever seen in the world ( the pissoir was full of baratas....) it was impossible to say that I would try the local sandwich and the local drink with some weird molded fruit inside... heuuuuu si cclllllaro:.. aiaiai I though that I would spend the rest of the bus trip on the toilet...... more fear then troubles really. In the bus I had behind me my big bag for security reason, but as a matter of fact I couldn´t put the back of my seat down and so had an horrible night. In the morning, the old man woke me up to go for breakfast for the last stop before La Paz... At this precise moment we are above 4000 meters of altitude and I just had an horrible night so I leave the bus with precipitation in a zombi state and left my bag with my value just hidden in the bus. I had my first mate coca (with coca leaves) and when I come back into the bus starts a nightmare:::: my wallet is gone and the guy who was sitting in front of me as well... All my bank cards gone, driving licence, identity card gone... thank the lord I have some Euros I put in another pockets. We finally arrive to La Paz and I then now have to rush to cancel all my cards do all the shitty crap..... and find an hostel. The first three are all full and I ended up in a fourth one exhausted ( there is no air at 4000 meters and I was carrying my big bag climbing the different streets of La Paz. hahaha what and hostel!, when I said I am swiss the guy looks at me very weirdly ,,,, I didn´t understand quite why at first... it was an israeli only hostel I was the only person fro the whole hostel not hebrew speaker, so I had two culture shoks for the price of one: the Bolivian and the israeli. Anyway, I went eating in the street some weird food..... I guess it was that or the chinese in the evening..... fact: I got a real bad turista... and was pretty much two days in the bed with as only dicvertissment my back and forth movements to the toilets... so now we arrive at the beggining of this post. The second day I had to rehydrate and wanted to add some sugar and salt to my water. I went down in the hostel's restaurant to buy a water and ask for sugar and salt. I bought the water a fortune and ask for a sugar:: answer : no... I thought the guy didn´t understand so I repeated a few times but hwe always said no....ººº if you want a sugar you have to buy a coffeeººº WHATTTT!! That was too much I had fever I was almost passing out and this real bastard didn´t want to give me a sugar I lost my temper:SO GIVE ME A DAMM COFFE THEN!!! all the waiters arrive to calm me down as everyone in the restaurant was looking.... They told me, they were not allowed to sell sugar and that I had to go to the market outside.... Haaaaaa this market so dirty !! I wanted sugar in a package not this..... So I went there almost falling down on every step and bought a pound of sugar that an old lady took with a dirty spoon... I would have killed those guys from the hostel.
Anyway, the day after, I finally got better and managed to go to the embassy and sort out the paper work for getting new credit cards etc. I just wanted to excape from this city where everyone looked in my situation like a potential thief and every bits of food like poison. I relly wanted to have a good sleep before taking the bus again for my last night,,,, the only problem was that it was independence day for the Israeli so there was a big party in the hostel and the loud music lasted until 4 in the morning. Now the best part,,, Around 2 in the morning, a guy comes in my room carrying one of the Israeli girl of my room under his arm.. he said something in hebrew and left... So I tried to sleep again... The sound of puke woke me up`... she started a nonstop puke on the floor of the room,,,, and soon the whole floor got filled up with vomit... the smell was very very nice after a turista... plus her unregular breathing obliged me to check every ten minutes if she wasn´t doing a coma next to me ....... I don`t want to have dead person in my room.... kenel what an horrible night at some point she puked again and started some delirium in hebrew ( I think she was calling her mum or somethihng like that) I told her to
speak in english .... she just said it is fine.....yeh right ver fine... So you see my experience of La Paz wasn´t the best so far and I hope this week will be the worst of my trip.
I took the bus the following morning to Copacabana to go to the titicaca or ( titi ckrackra léau elle aime ça) lake.

sa ya, read me there.

Santa Cruz de la Sierra BOBOBOBOB

hahah now the stories of my Arrival in Bolivia>>
I arrived in the middle of the night as usual, without knowing where I would sleep or anything like that.... Bolivia is not like Argentina, a bit more third world like if you see what I mean...Here everything is smaller: the buses, the prices , the people ( if I stay straight and I look up I don`t see anyone), etc. But the people are extremly friendly and helpful. Anyway I took the local bus to arrive close to the center of the city. the bus drop me with a couple of english in the middle of a strange crossing.. We looked at each other and started crying!!! There must have been some sort of march that the police dealt away a few seconds before with some tears gaz::: it was horrible!! welcome !! So I walked until my hostel crying like a child. When I finally arrived there, I noticed I did the so far most stupid thing of my travel:: I put a brand new tooth paste in my luggage before taking the plane..... as you can well imagine with the pressure it exploded and I am now a living advertising for Colgate, I have got peaces of toothpaste everywhere.... After that I went out for dinner..... and happened one of the most funny thing I have seen in ages:::
I was really thirsty as the temperature here are about 35 degrees ( last week in el calafate 0// a bit of a change again), so I went to a little shop holded by two old strong bolivian women to buy a bottle of water. They gave it to me did a few meters and tried to open it>> impossible!! I tried everything for more then 5 minutes ( for a man it is really humiliating to not manage to open a plastic bottle of water.....) anyway I came back a bit ashamed saying that I couldn´t open the bottle..... they looked at me and tried as well oh god they have tried believe me,,,, but impossible! they tried another one and another one>>> no way those bottles just wouldn´t open we were all laughing because it was ridiculous ( 3 persons trying to open bottles) but I litteraly died laughing when one of the woman started trying to smah the bottle against the walls of the shop or against the columns .... ho my god I would have loved to film these unbeleivable scene.... At the end we still didn´t manage to open the bottle, they wanted to give me the money which I would have given for this laugh but they were insiting and I had to find another place to buy the water from. ok one more funny story,,, this morning I went for breakfast and started speaking with other foreigners,,, suddenly something bite my big toe... I jump and look down it was a Toucannnnnn, yes would you believe it!! they have toucan as domestic animal in this hostel ( they might have cut the wings otherwise I don´t see how they would stay there... but anyway it was pretty amazing. I am going tonight to La Paz...(4060 meters altitude)

read me there, sa ya

Buenos de nuevo

So I arrived in Buenos Aires from where I would fly to Santa Cruz de la Sierra ( Bolivia) two days later. I arrived under a tropical rain and I had the genial idea to take the bus to go to the center.... I waited under waterfalls in about 30 cm of water, every single passing car giving me a free shower. ..... . loved it of course. Then started a long bus ride to the center: at each single station about ten persons would run into the bus,,, Ï don´t think I have ever been in a so busy bus in my life; everyone was sweating ( so hot) we couldn´t open the windows because of the rain.... now the funny part, I had to go out and squizz me through all these people with my massive rucksack.... just seeing the situation averyone stated to laugh in the bus (I was quite at the start of the bus ( maybe 3 meters, so I had to pass about 30 people) I passed them one by one fighting with my bag doing some ninja tricks. We tried to push my bag from the window but it was too big.... When the bus arrived at the station I wanted to go out>> about 15 people had to jump off the bus under the pissing rain to let me through but everyone was laughing of the situation. perdona, permiso, desulpe, gracias,gracias. I then struggled to find an hostel as they were all completely full but I finally arrived in a pretty nice one appart from the smell of my room kenel!! The following day I went to change my tickets to New Zelnd to try to get to see the matchu pitchu. So now I am flying from Santiago to Auckland on the 9th of may, from Christchurch to Brisbane on the 21th, from Brisbane to Melbourne on the 28 and from Sydney to Singapor on the 8 th of june.. After that I have been burning the dancefloor with a brasilian friend in the "museum" night club,,, really nice but I didn´t sleep much as I had to wake up pretty early the next day to catch my plane ( about 3 hours)... I was really pleasantly surprised whe I arrived at the airport and saw the label "on time" next to my flight... on time my butt!!! there was a manutention strike and then they had to change the crew so we flew off 5 hours later.... I was like a zombie as we entered the plane and slept pretty much the whole flight. I arrived still quai unconcious in Bolivia.
sa ya read me there

colonia suiza

Chocolates, mountains, lakes, high prices for Argentina ( god I am in Switzerland).... Well Bariloche si really nice and swiss like... I couldn´t leave it fo fast. So I didn´t go to mendonza at the end and decided I would take the plane to go straight to Bolivia to Santa Cruz de la Sierra.
But let us come back to Bariloche ( I am furious, I just lost the whole entry so this one is going to be shorter sorry) Bariloche is pretty amazong with all these lakes around. I then decided to go on a treck... I met some Israelis I met before in Rio at the federal police for my visa problems (I staid three months in Rio illegally) really cool guys but without any notions about trecking.... They were planning to do a 30 km treck on a tough mountain in a day with a bottle of water and 1 sandwich. I managed to convince them to do a much smaller one ( 3 hours normally) .... After one hour, we had to stop they were absolutely exhausted and me too...(so much for the 30 km treck). We then decided to walk until we reach the snow ( about 50 meters away) and then to come back. I think it was the first time they touched the snow it was really emotional they were like little children! Bu what amazed me more was to see for the ffirst time a condor!!!!! they are so huge and calm >> they are the kings>> it looks like noone and nothing can distrub them. After that we had a great barbecue at the hostel were I learned everything about the kiboots and a few bad words in hebrew which I already forgot....
I am now off to Buenos Aires.
sa ya read me there

fucking hell

I just lost a massive entry I just wrote for the last hour

coooohhhh.....it´s cooooold

woaw my bag is so light!! normal, it is empty, I have got all my clothes on.... it is absolutely freezing down there in front of the Perito Moreno (0 degree, snowing and windy... ideal!)... But the "little dark dog" translation of Perito Moreno (actually the name comes from the guy who was meant to discover it and has got nothing to do with dark dog, but it was just to show that my spanish is improving heheh),,,, heu I can't remember what I wanted to say about it.... ah yes well it was really amazing I loved it. The landscape in Patagonia is just extremely inspiring, the colour combinations are completely different than anything I have seen before: the mountains are dark with some snow at the top (pretty normal until there) but the vegetation goes from yellow to brown. The whole thing on a colorful sunset created an unforgettable image. At night we went for a local LOMO (I didn't say a local homo....) the Lomo is the Argentinian steak,,,, you might say I am a bit cliche but it was unbelievable: a 5 cm thick steak melting on my tongue like heuuuu,,,like a steak can melt on a tongue...( note the appropriate choice of vocabulary linked to the glacier "melt")After this blowing day, I had to see how my trip would go on....the next place had to be Bariloche (still in Argentina) and I started (at 5 in the morning) an horrible 30 hours bus ride with as only exciting moments the two bus changes of this trip..... I sort of slept probably 24 out of the 30 hours but I arrived this morning in Bariloche absolutely exhausted under a London rain... I realized during the bus ride that it might be really hard to manage to do the end of Argentina, the whole of Bolivia, the whole of Peru and Chile until the 2nd of May.... So now start the troubles, I will have to chose between the beauties. bouhoubhouhouhouh.My normal plan is to go to Mendonza tomorrow night... have some good red wine there and think again about the trip with a new perspective....
read me there, sa ya

puerto Madryn "the whale´s world"

Bueno,
I have left Buenos Aires already a few days ago and I am continuing my trip to the very cold.... In the bus a very strange phenomenon happened: I grow up 20 cm in the night, well that is the impression I had coming out of the bus... I am a head and a half bigger than everyone here: I feel like a giant, hard to look like a local. My spanish well one of my favorite joke is when I speak to someone here with my awful portoñol,,, people start to speak very slowly and nicely to me, a 20 sec sentence transforms into a 3 min one and at the end I say in castillan "vale, vale" in a perfect spanish accent ( noone says "vale" here it is something from spain for "ok"). then they all have the same look at me like: "is he a really retarded spanish guy?"...
I stoped for a few days in the famous Puerto Madryn; famous for the pinguins, the sea lions, the orcs and the whales, well I would say famous for the pictures in the hostel of pinguins sea lions whales and orcs,,, kenel!! I have been there on a tour// ok that was what the guy from the tour office told me before (the guide speaks english, portuguese, spanish, italian....) and to the question of what are the chances to see orcs, the answer about 80%. Now the reality of the tour the next day: an old retired argentinian comes to pick me up in a truck; he didn´t understand when I said "hello"... he spoke of course only spanish without articulating because he lost his teeth, he had a good smiling face but it was a bit limited for explanations. For the orcs look at the picture you´ll get it. Anyway the pinguins were cool and the sea lions were there.
I am continuing tonight to the real cold ( which I caught already, I have a bit of fever and a flue... well I´ll have a 24 hours bus trip to recover heheh) I am going to the glaciers of the south El Calafate, that should be really amazing and I am pretty sure that the glacier will be there.
read me there, sa ya.

Mc Gyver`s land

Yes that is it,,, I know it now, the hero of my childhood Mc Gyver is argentinian there is no possible doubt anymore. Hahaha I am sure some of you already understood what I am refering to..... of course the fantastic Mc Gyver´s hairdress known under the name of: Meulette. I havn´t really made a stastistic but I would say that more or less 60 % of the people show off their Meulette with a certain confidence in the street... It is amazing, Buenos Aires is like a national park for Meulette, their are everywhere, it is a reserve for every species every colors, young, old, rebel, business... a paradise for Meulette. I know it is illegal but I have started a Meulette hunt in Buenos Aires with my camera, but the most beautiful phenomenons are really wild and run away from my camera.... ( I can´t upload right now the "best of Meulette 2007 by Boris Brullmann" because I don`t have my camera cable but don´t worry they`ll be soon enough online).
Otherwise, I left Montevideo 2 days ago and went to Colonia (Uruguay) a nice little city protected by the world heritage, then I took the boat to Buenos Aires and managed to arrive really late 11 oclock at night without map, guide, spanish or any information about the city.... it doesn´t look like I am really organised like this heuuuu right I am not ... So I started to speak with two germans on the boat to try to get infos,,, and it was a good idea, they were really helpful and told me where to go with which bus etc... I then arrived around 12 at a first hostel which was full /// I said back then in a perfect spanish miiiiiiiiiiierda... I was then turning around in the area trying to find another place with my 20 kilos bag on the shoulder. A big blonde finnish girl then came to me to ask if I was looking for a place to stay (heheh sounds good isn´t it, actually, she wasn`t that good looking but very helpful ) she then called a friend of her who is living in an hostel,,, and that is how I arrive in this really cool hostel (It looks more like a shared flat than an hostel ) It has a great terrasse and the people are nice. There was yesterday a barbecue on the terrasse with some very nice argentinian wine:::: thank the lord! It has been a while ... I am not going to mention brasilian wine here. After that, we have been to the worst club (well I hope for them that it is the worst club) of Buenos Aires where the average age was 15 maybe, the lighting from the seventies and the music, well I can´t remember but it must have been very bad. I think I drunk a bit too much to be honest because today It is really hard to focus on anything ( apart from Meulette hunt of course and a really cool exhibition of David Lachapelle).
At the barbecue, a girl told me "you look very happy in your life, what do you do?",,,, yes indeed I am enjoying a lot this fantastic trip.
I´ll be saturday night in the bus for Puerto Madryn,
read me there,
sa ya.

montttteeeevbbbbbideo

Ola desde Montevideo,
Gone I am. I arrrived sunday in Montevideo (Uruguay) or like my brrasilian flatmate said in " U r gay// You are gay"... well the plane from Porto Alegre had a good old 5 hours delay So I think I know the portoAlegre airport better then anyone....( it is pretty small/// I was so bored that I started to work...) Anyway, I arrived pretty late in Montevideo,,, thing that I really wanted to avoid as I speak spanish as well as chinese and I was scared that the tourist office would be closed... but the girl working at the tourist office was very nice and spoke portuguese. I decided to go by bus to the center (it is always more interesting then taxi....) and indeed woaw it is so different than Brasil// this is were I really realised that I had started the tour/.. I met a few foreigners aat the hostel and went for some weird local drinks.
Monday I walked pretty much around the whole city.// It is really quiet, nicely relaxed and not dangerous>> I am wearing my clock back : it has been 6 months ( Rio is Rio).. But otherwise I think the city is really fade compared to Rio... Let us see what Buenos Aires has to offer tonight ( A lot of expectations)... I'll go to Colonia by bus and from there I'll catch the boat to ARGENTINA!!

Read me there sa, ya